If we are what we do and we don’t do it anymore, then who are we? This is a question that surrounds the theme of retirement. The title of “Who Am I: Now That I Am Not Who I Was,” by Connie Goldman highlights that retirement is often framed around what we lose—status, income, or structure. We also lose our social network from the workplace. These losses can lead a lot of people to consider their retirement with trepidation or even dread.
Sahil Bloom, author of “The 5 Types of Wealth: A Transformative Guide to Design Your Dream Life,” believes time is our most valuable type of wealth because it is finite and non-renewable. Once it is gone, it is lost forever.
I argue that many of the aspects we “lose” when we retire are “gifts” because of how we have the power to reclaim our time. One of Bloom’s themes is how the highest form of wealth is the ability to have the freedom and flexibility to wake up most days and do whatever you want.
Retirement can be a time of downsizing your relationships, practices and habits, and activities and involvement. Letting go of what no longer serves you can open the door to new opportunities and a more meaningful life. Below are my top ten “losses” that are my gifts in retirement, along with guiding questions to help you transform your losses into gifts.
1. The Daily Treadmill Schedule
I don’t miss my daily commute to work and being led by my calendar. It is a gift to control my calendar, and I appreciate my freedom and flexibility. I have reclaimed my time.
- What routines no longer serve you?
- How does your calendar feel to you?
2. Work-related Stress And Pressure
It is a gift to have few deadlines, no performance reviews, and no office politics. I appreciate not having the constant pressure to perform or compete.
- What kind of pressure are you most relieved to release?
- How do you want to define success now?
3. Meetings And Bureaucracy
Give me a task and I will get it done, but I don’t want endless meetings to figure it out. It is a gift to have more time for creative and fulfilling activities and for meeting friends for coffee and conversation.
- What creative activities could you now do with this extra time?
- What brings you joy?
It is a nice feeling to be more than your position or job title. I consider it a gift to be my authentic self and redefine myself beyond what I did for a living.
- Who are you becoming beyond your profession?
- What would you like your identity to be?
5. Clothing And Appearance Expectations
While I still want to look stylish, I don’t have a dress code to follow. As a college professor, I felt responsible to be a role model for students. Now I can dress for comfort and my own personal style.
- How has your clothing changed since you retired?
- How does it feel to not have to “dress the part”?
6. Commuting Time
I don’t miss my daily commute of about two hours a day. It is a gift to reclaim that time and invest it in building relationships, improving my health and fitness, and rest and relaxation. I can finally read the books that have been piling up.
- How will you reclaim this time?
- What is one small daily pleasure you now have time for?
7. Being Constantly “On”
I appreciate not having to be “on stage” and judged. I have built in rest and relaxation into my life—not just saved for vacations. Retirement has allowed me to set better boundaries and to be authentic, which is important to me.
- How do you rest and relax?
- What boundaries are important to maintain your energy?
8. Scarcity Of Time For Relationships And Health
Relationships are important to me. I allocate time on my calendar for connecting with others. Without the treadmill schedule, I prioritize nurturing my health, friendships, and time with family.
- What relationships would you like to strengthen and deepen?
- What’s one way to invest in your health now?
9. Misaligned Goals
I have let go of pursuing company goals that may not match my values. Now I focus on personal and soul-filling goals that are designed by me.
- What values will guide you in retirement?
- What personal goals excite you now?
10. Doing Things Just For Money
While financial security matters, I find joy in no longer having the pressure to earn money. Time is my currency, and I am intentional in how I invest my time.
- How do you want to spend your time now?
- What would you do more of if you are financially secure?
There are more losses that I could add to this list. The key is to shift our attitude about how we perceive these losses. They are actually gifts that we can use to improve our lives. Now that people are living longer, retirement is an antiquated term. By definition, it means “to draw back” or “to withdraw.” It can mean “to expire.” But retirement can be a time of reframing how we look at our life.
What are your top ten losses that can be gifts to you?
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